The Present

Today I looked up ischemic colitis on the internet, I haven't done that since mom developed ischemic colitis on April 28th. I just wanted to read about it one more time to see if maybe I missed something. According to the Mayo Clinic, the level of her condition required surgery and people rarely recover without further surgeries, pain or complications. The doctor would not even recommend surgery because she would not have survived it. I have to remember that one little detail. Because mom's liver specialist actually tried to make us believe she was getting better, although the GT doctors explained the situation thoroughly, it was enough to make me doubt that she could ever get better. I also have to remember the amount of pain she was in and how hard it was to watch her suffer, in order for me to accept that she is gone and I would not want her back with me in that state. Those memories are the most painful. Today I would like one more hug from her. Tonight Ray and I took Joshah, Ella and Henry to see Kung Fu Panda. It was just a silly cartoon for children, but one of the character said "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that is why it is called the present". I thought that was so great to hear, every new day is a gift. My cousin Risa sent me this scripture and it also was a comfort...Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:11-12
Today there was joy as I watched Joshah, Ella and Henry play on the slip 'n slide and listened to their laughter at the movies.