It is already April, I can't believe it. This time last year my Aunt Laura had experienced the complications from an angiogram and was hospitalized at Baylor and then relocated to LifeCare. So both mom and Aunt Laura were in the same facility. We had just found out that mom's foot was actually healing. We continued go to and from our homes to the hospital. Although it is still the beginning of April, I find myself thinking a great deal about the end of April. Some of my feelings are with great sadness and some are with great joy. The end of April is when I can remember how soft my mom's hands were and how she smelled.
This week I have learned that my feelings are my own. They are not good or bad, right or wrong, they simply are, they are mine. No two people experience loss or grief in the same way. No one has the right to tell me how happy I should be that she is in heaven celebrating the resurrection of Christ with him. Of course, I am very happy she is there, I am very happy she is pain free. I am also sad for me. Sad because it has been so long since I talked to her or held her hand. Everyday I am happy for her. Only on some days am I more sad for me. I was told by my friend Ann that I can not begin to predict how I will feel in future days. How true that is! I can only feel what I feel today. My sweet husband reminded me that each person's grief is personal, often dependent upon the relationship the two people shared.
Today hasn't been such a good day, but I'm also sleep deprived. Joshah was was up at 2:30 am this morning and did not go back to sleep. It doesn't happen too often, thank goodness. It is just one of his quirks.
I can only give God thanks for the peace that comes upon me on so many days and staying with me on the sad days.
Now, for some stories mom would tell her friends....
Joshah was reading a social story with his in home trainer about giving others space when walking down the hall and I heard him say the following...."No, no, I don't need much space, I'm a good squeezer." And that is why he is reading a story about personal space!
Ella only missed one question on her first taks test ever. Of course, she is so modest that when Henry told the AC repair man the great news, she nearly beat Henry up!
Henry has now lost his two front teeth. Although it was really loose, in order to get the 2nd tooth out, he had his friends at school take turns punching him in the mouth. He was really proud of the little treasure box he got to bring it home in!
Henry has prayed to God, Jesus, and Granna. We are a little concerned that he has replaced the Holy Spirit with Granna!
blessings,
Laura
p.s. Mom, they are keeping us busy!
This week I have learned that my feelings are my own. They are not good or bad, right or wrong, they simply are, they are mine. No two people experience loss or grief in the same way. No one has the right to tell me how happy I should be that she is in heaven celebrating the resurrection of Christ with him. Of course, I am very happy she is there, I am very happy she is pain free. I am also sad for me. Sad because it has been so long since I talked to her or held her hand. Everyday I am happy for her. Only on some days am I more sad for me. I was told by my friend Ann that I can not begin to predict how I will feel in future days. How true that is! I can only feel what I feel today. My sweet husband reminded me that each person's grief is personal, often dependent upon the relationship the two people shared.
Today hasn't been such a good day, but I'm also sleep deprived. Joshah was was up at 2:30 am this morning and did not go back to sleep. It doesn't happen too often, thank goodness. It is just one of his quirks.
I can only give God thanks for the peace that comes upon me on so many days and staying with me on the sad days.
Now, for some stories mom would tell her friends....
Joshah was reading a social story with his in home trainer about giving others space when walking down the hall and I heard him say the following...."No, no, I don't need much space, I'm a good squeezer." And that is why he is reading a story about personal space!
Ella only missed one question on her first taks test ever. Of course, she is so modest that when Henry told the AC repair man the great news, she nearly beat Henry up!
Henry has now lost his two front teeth. Although it was really loose, in order to get the 2nd tooth out, he had his friends at school take turns punching him in the mouth. He was really proud of the little treasure box he got to bring it home in!
Henry has prayed to God, Jesus, and Granna. We are a little concerned that he has replaced the Holy Spirit with Granna!
blessings,
Laura
p.s. Mom, they are keeping us busy!
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